IN HER WORDS
03.07.2007 X 07.21.2026
Fresco vert
I made your dose of poison
Prepared with care and love
You deserve this soft look
My reassurance
You deserve my best smile
For each drop
You deserve my joy
I want to hold you through the pain
You need my shoulder
You’ve earned lullabies
And rest
A quiet look not to wake you up You’ve earned my gratitude
Let me you till the breath stop coming
Till you find your way to the light
I will mourn you
I will wear black
I will bring flowers
I’ll write down my sorrows
A eulogy to a life worth its end .
I’ll hold on to the photos of you
The ones we carved along the years
The ones where you were happy
Say you love me
On a Wednesday
In the month of May
Say it especially
When I’m destruction
When I’m your lesson
Love me
In the fall
When the leaves fall
Love me
When thunder strikes
Even with your heart on spikes
I could end you
This cold blade
Begging to spill your warmth
I could end it
This dirt
Seeks to soak up your life
I could live
This sweet anger
Begging to taste your soul
Bring you close
Feeling the music of your heart
And turn the ground red
Anxiety flirts with me, Skipping beats
A tempting reminder of beats that have made her dance
How exciting! will I, won't I?
How exciting of a gamble
I casketted and laid my life to rest
Since my innocence was stolen
I haven’t seen the light
Not since the day I saw me
I have been thisss… for so long
I started thinking it was me
My body
Sentenced
To what my mind could not bear
I am exhumed
From the safety of my enclosed darkness
Facing the light that was no longer my world
My soul exposed
I
The murderer
Put in trial
Sentenced to live on
This is the end of your vine
A dream of yours, in one of mine
A gift of your wishes and some of mines
You lost your pain and I found my mines
A gift to you, this fruit of mine
A shaded rest, of blues and grey
Of tears we counted night and day
The sweet sweet rain within our clay
Shaded your roots where our hearts lay
And your flowers, all mine today
I found refuge in the fear
Peace in the chaos
Floating in my submersion
Eyes open to the darkness
A perfect reflection floating above
Open to my own ending
I own my breath
I decide the end
I write and rewrite
I found myself in my ending
Eyes open
In her eyes I found my own
A wink that I will always recognize
This is the end of my choosing
Do you feel paralyzed
Standing on the edge
Do you feel like mine?
Can you feel your soul spill
On the edge of my command
Do you feel your last breath
Each heart beat
Every cold sweat
Do you feel like mine?
Do you feel my tears on your skin
Arrows to the heart
Unspoken bullets
Do you feel struck
Do you feel it
My last speech
Can you feel your eyes pleading to mine
Asking the whys that you should already know
Do you feel the silence
Of Your last few second
Your life disappearing before your eyes
Our memories fading away
Will you remember
will you remember I loved you
That I really tried to
Did you feel like mine?
Do you feel like mine now
Quiet Excitement boils in my chest
I toss and turn with the idea that maybe
Just maybe, I am here
Maybe both my feet are on the ground
Maybe I am flying
Maybe I am somewhere in the cloud
Looking down at what I once thought stood above me
Maybe, right now, I exist
She existed
But I am here now
My love
I’ve never not loved you
I’ll never not loved you
My impossible
I faced the fire
I didn’t burn
